Don’t know why, but I have this deep urge to drink again. Even when I’m trying so hard to stay positive and remind myself it’ll be alright. But the desperate need to buy a bottle and drown is strong, and I don’t understand why I’m having the urge when I’m trying to be ok. I… Read More Rant 003
As I’m washing dishes my thoughts about the whole asking for a day type agreement within a relationship popped up. And as I’m picturing how I would explain myself in that conversation, a statement just stands out. “We’re adults and I’m very aware I’m not your first priority. I’m aware how easily I’ll become background… Read More Rant 002
While I’m thinking about make up again, I’m trying to figure out my goal with it. I always loved doing very gothic makeup while playing with unnatural colors. Plus I want to attempt SX type makeup looks. But then it leads into the question on where do I start. I already got recommended a liquid… Read More Rant 001
Nothing like feeling extremely insecure about body parts and such to where you just want to get rid of everything and build yourself a new body. But not all that is possible.If it was I would replace my skin for one that isn’t damaged by years of skin picking. Which is impossible. All I can… Read More New year ramble
Based on how things went with a living situation, I now question a few things about myself. For example at what level of function do I truly have and what am I denying myself of. For it has been brought up to my attention multiplied times that I do have some issues with caring for… Read More Nov. 9 2023
Sometimes I wonder if the rose on the other side ever feels lonely. With how much I scream and shout, it will never hear me. The way this glass box surrounds me, I can feel the oxygen escaping my lungs. But there is no door or window for me to leave. The rose is just… Read More A Rose
I think I’m just still struggling with how nobody is going to help me. I have been crying for so long for help, but everyone keeps turning away from me. Especially the people who were supposed to be there for me. Like every time I’m struggling, I become a kid again, crying out for mom… Read More Silently Crying
3 days of no meds really hit hard. Like it made my depression hard to get out of and everything effects me worse. I’m glad I finally on meds that help me function to where my depression doesn’t make me numb to everything. It’s terrifying when I would get so numb that the only way… Read More The Right Medication
Finally getting back into a project I been trying to do for some time. These designs were when I first started but stopped due to a ton of personal issues happening at the time. Since I a lot off my chest and no longer in therapy, I can slowly start working on these again. Hopefully… Read More Bring Back
Planning out meals isn’t that exciting. But planning out a theme kinda is. Especially since the theme contains certain ingredients that go into multiple dishes. Instead of “I need this exact ingredient for this dish but a whole bunch of different ingredients for another.” Not to mention it’s much easier for me to put stuff… Read More Food Prep
Xexiar 