I sometimes wonder why I’m always in the wrong. From the why I feel, my thoughts, my beliefs, my needs, just about anything that has to do with me. Today I just feel so inadequate and if I even dare try to express that why someone things always go one or two ways. One (typically… Read More Rant 010
So as I’m sitting around today a little thought popped up. I wonder if I would do any justice if I were to write all my antithetical beliefs and thoughts about topics I feel strongly about, even though many of the topics are things I’ve observed and struggled to justify if I even can speak… Read More Rant 008
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Don’t get me wrong, I have very hyped games on my switch but my switch is just for my chill games. Nintendo has always been my gamer version of a good book. The sit down and vibe. Sometimes it’s the stand up and play, along with family competition. But my main baby, aka my wife,… Read More Rant 006. Gaming
I think the biggest reasons that I don’t understand or know what emotion I’m feeling most of the time is not only because of the toxicity of my upbringing, but also because my default reaction to everything is anger. Then when I notice I’m angry I quickly try to change it to anything but that… Read More Rant 004
As I’m washing dishes my thoughts about the whole asking for a day type agreement within a relationship popped up. And as I’m picturing how I would explain myself in that conversation, a statement just stands out. “We’re adults and I’m very aware I’m not your first priority. I’m aware how easily I’ll become background… Read More Rant 002
It sucks being constantly reminded how you’re always in the wrong no matter how hard you try. You give it your all but it’s never enough. You’re constantly trying to be considerate of the other person. Constantly making sure you don’t mess up and become misunderstood. But the moment you slip for a brief second… Read More It hurts.
What sucks about psychology, especially when you study it to mask the pain, is that with all the help in the world it still comes down to how you go about your life. You can have the absolutely amazing support system but nothing will change if you don’t change. I’m struggling and I noticed I… Read More
As I’m cleaning my room a few thoughts keep crossing my mind. I’m practicing having a full argument over how I won’t get my work noticed because I don’t advertise enough. Or how I don’t ask for help when I need it. Let alone how I treat everyone around me. The more I thought on… Read More 9.23.2022
I put in so much work into avoiding something and I usually do a good job at it until someone points it out. After that I fall back into the cycle of that bad habit and then I get blame for doing it again. I been doing so good until you said something. And then… Read More I Just Want to Scream
Xexiar 