I sometimes wonder why I’m always in the wrong. From the why I feel, my thoughts, my beliefs, my needs, just about anything that has to do with me. Today I just feel so inadequate and if I even dare try to express that why someone things always go one or two ways. One (typically… Read More Rant 010
Maybe I do have a problem and should at least try to express it. Like I’m very accustomed to not being a priority in anyone’s lives. I try my best to be understanding that life happens and things just comes up. But at the same time, that same pattern is what led me to having… Read More Second thought
Even though the chains are broken,I still have the collar and markings of my imprison. I still carry the weight of my chainsand can still see the bars on my windows. So, even though I’m miles away and chains are gone, my body still remembersevery last detail. No matter how much I run and try… Read More Poem: untitled
So as I’m sitting around today a little thought popped up. I wonder if I would do any justice if I were to write all my antithetical beliefs and thoughts about topics I feel strongly about, even though many of the topics are things I’ve observed and struggled to justify if I even can speak… Read More Rant 008
You ever been so lost and tired that you don’t recognize yourself no matter how hard you try. Where you keep wearing a mask but not sure how to take it off? Like I been so focused on saving money for potential rental deposit, since a lot of “assistances” wasn’t helping with that. I also… Read More Rant 007
Don’t get me wrong, I have very hyped games on my switch but my switch is just for my chill games. Nintendo has always been my gamer version of a good book. The sit down and vibe. Sometimes it’s the stand up and play, along with family competition. But my main baby, aka my wife,… Read More Rant 006. Gaming
I think the biggest reasons that I don’t understand or know what emotion I’m feeling most of the time is not only because of the toxicity of my upbringing, but also because my default reaction to everything is anger. Then when I notice I’m angry I quickly try to change it to anything but that… Read More Rant 004
While I’m thinking about make up again, I’m trying to figure out my goal with it. I always loved doing very gothic makeup while playing with unnatural colors. Plus I want to attempt SX type makeup looks. But then it leads into the question on where do I start. I already got recommended a liquid… Read More Rant 001
I think I’m just still struggling with how nobody is going to help me. I have been crying for so long for help, but everyone keeps turning away from me. Especially the people who were supposed to be there for me. Like every time I’m struggling, I become a kid again, crying out for mom… Read More Silently Crying
It sucks being constantly reminded how you’re always in the wrong no matter how hard you try. You give it your all but it’s never enough. You’re constantly trying to be considerate of the other person. Constantly making sure you don’t mess up and become misunderstood. But the moment you slip for a brief second… Read More It hurts.
Xexiar 